Thoughts on 30
Today I turn 30. So I’m thinking a lot about numbers and about time. I’m also thinking about expectations. I’m also thinking about…me. So excuse the temporary suspension of outward gazing while I take in the interior landscape for a moment.
My first album, “Week Days, Weak Knees” turns 10 this year. I just celebrated my 3rd year wedding anniversary, and met my wife almost 11 years ago. College ended 8 years ago, highschool 12. I still have no idea how old my parents are, but my younger sister is going to be 23 in the fall. I vividly remember her coming home from the hospital. Actually, I vividly remember her being born because I was in the room when it happend. Most people find this rather worthy of comment when I tell them.
Out of 4 that I knew and loved, I have but one grandparent left on this earth, my incredible Grandma Doris. I’ve lost one parent. I don’t see family I used to see yearly, and I have new family I never thought I’d have. It takes a village.
I live in California. Something that, to a young board sports and hooliganism enthusiast would have seemed outlandishly cool. It is, in many different ways than I would have imagined. Meanwhile, Vermont became a spiritual home to me in ways I never would have dreamed when I was growing up. I was busy pushing the edge of the highway further and further - Boston, New York, California then about 8 years ago, graduating college, I saw the country from a minivan with lifelong friends. Exploded out onto the road, I left so many miles in my rearview mirror.
Things come into focus when you hit the road.
When I say “lifelong friends” I mean, wow. I have made some unbelievably good friends. People you can count on. People who are so inspiring and talented that they knock the wind out of you. For the most part I’ve managed to avoid making enemies, though I have had some miscommunicated passion. I think that’s the diplomatic way to put it, though it kind of makes me sound like a very dangerous criminal, which, so far, I’m not.
Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” needs one of those really awkward “re-release/make it different” versions to come out. In the way so many bands would do self-important “Hit Classic Song (2000)” versions in the millenium. For my birthday, Billy Joel needs some more piano-man-rap verses about how totally fucking crazy the world at large is. Come on Billy. Let’s do this.
Next? Well, I’ll make a record, play the drums, play guitar and sing. I’ll challenge the status quo, try not to end up in a factory of any kind, emotionally or physically. Do the work. Read the books. Make the time. Meditate. Give gifts. Receive them.
I am not rich. I am not famous. I am far from perfect. And I am not at all concerned about those things. Because I am truly, deeply, incredibly happy and grateful for the chance to live a life. What a gift. To live it with someone committed to becoming better, stronger, happier together – that’s the jackpot.
Even so, I really have no idea what is next. Gotten enough curveballs to keep me on my toes. But I’ll work hard so that I really won’t mind that. Stay unattached. After all, since the world was turning, it was always burning, and always will be.